I’ve spent the last two hours searching my mind for a topic to write on as my first contribution to the company blog. Although I’ve blogged for several years, in one way or another, it hasn’t been like this.
What I write here will affect not only my own reputation but also that of Avidmode, the livelihood and significant life investment of myself and others. Maybe that’s a good thing. For this reason, I’m obliged to think of myself as more of a professional than previously, having until now enjoyed the comfort offered by opting out of the label and acting without behaving.
So, I could button down, get up at 8 am every morning and put on an ironed shirt, planning my day from start to finish. Except I’m not that guy. The website you’re looking at wasn’t made from 9 to 5 at an office in Soho, nor do I have spreadsheets and detailed sketches of it. I have a pile of drawings made in the middle of the night, stacked next to my computer and that within falling distance of my bed.
During the time I’ve been doing my best impression of Sherlock Holmes, I’ve nevertheless ended up in a place where I’m relied on by both co-workers and clients, and by extension those who rely on them. It looks like a kind of recursive and multiplying responsibility, a little more nuanced than the payment for service it so often pretends to be.
I think it’s OK that I never thought much about where what I did would take me, even though each step forwards has brought both excitement and some measure of doubt. It wouldn’t be natural or sensible to approach things without consideration as they change. A lack of doubt in the face of significant life events would rather be a sign that I’m missing the forest for the trees.
Eventually then, the question becomes: am I doing this for myself? Or rather: are my own reasons for doing this strong enough that I’d let others depend on them?
For now, all I know for sure is that as long as it’s a work in progress, I will continue to meet each new challenge as it comes, and I won’t take on responsibilities for which I’m not ready.
Hello. My name is Daniel, and I am the Creative Director of Avidmode.